All Discussions - DTAC Forum

am i in the friend zone?

ashley_jean6292 — Wed, 16 May 2012 20:20:09 -0400

My friend and I have been friends for about 4 years now. Some stuff has happened between us, but it was mostly when there was alcohol involved and we done talk about it.. I had moved to another town and he helped me move and even stayed with me for the weekend so I wouldn't be alone. We stayed in touch but not like we had been. My dad passed away he cried and te me he wished he could come but wouldn't be able to because an old friend was going to be there, and that would have been super bad. I moved to the town he lived in, and we talk pretty much every day, but I always start the texting. However, he never texts anyone first. We hang out pretty much twice a week, he always comes and picks me up. Sometimes he has to ask for gas money. I normally stay at his house at least once a month. Every time we hang out, we end up talking until 8 in the morning, or we just hang out all day again Besides the fact that we're good friends, he talks about girls he likes all the time. And I'm not sure if its to get a reaction from me or what.

Now just so you know, we're both in our 20 somethings. I'm by no means new to dating. I just get mixed signals from him. Also, he's not shy. My family and friends say he likes me as more than just a friend. Any help?

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what is going on??

kkw16 — Sun, 14 Aug 2011 11:15:50 -0400

Things are happening between me and her now. and i am super confused.

So she recently got injured on her forehead. I went to visit her and stayed with her for a day. We kind of cuddle a bit on the bed.

And the next day we were working on school project together for like 30 hours together. me, her and another group partner.

She slept on my lap for like an hour or so and then she slept on my chest for like another hour. we were holding hands and cuddling together.

After she wakes up, I was sleeping on her back.

After handing in our project. I went to her hours and we slept for like another hour. We were in the same bed cuddling again.

The next day she said i am a perv and I should never do that again on msn.

So..... what is going on between me and her.

she is 24 and i m 22
not sure if these info helps

1st kiss

XxpsasxX — Sun, 26 Jun 2011 00:32:52 -0400

hey guys heres the deal
i'm 17 and live in SoCal
and i've never had a first kiss.
i've gone out with girls before but something/someone always got in the way of me having my first kiss.
I'm going on my second date with this awesome, beautiful girl
who happens to be a lot more experience than me.
any tips on to make my first kiss memorable without any awkwardness on my part from lack of experience

Long story please help

IDK — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 18:04:16 -0500

I'm 22 years old I have only had like 2 relationships on my Whole life. Im inexperience on dating and very shy and I feel insecure most of the time when close or talking to attractive girl. I have such a low steam and I'm always thinking about the negative outcomes. That's why Im afraid of telling my feelings to any girl I have ever like or met. I have live on fear my whole life and if I get to talk or going out with someone I cant do the last step and tell them I like them, and I ended up on the friend zone. Help please IDK from New York.

Need advice

facepalm — Sat, 12 Nov 2011 04:19:56 -0500

I know DTAC is over, but i hope somebody will help me. So I met this chick month ago. Everyday we sms and we meet few times a week. I can see that she likes me (she even told so), so I asked her to be my girlfriend. Well her answer was negative, she told me that she doesnt need a boyfriend now and she need time to feel something for someone. After that conversation everything got back to normal, we talk and ect. I really like this girl and im not going to give up. Can somebody give me advice what to do? Just give her time and be with her? Won't she friend zone me?

I would really appreciate some help :)

Question for Tripp and Kyle

DylanW — Tue, 16 Nov 2010 11:20:00 -0500

How did you guys get to where you are now? I guess it seems a little broad, but I'm a little curious as to what made you guys start thinking about relationships and girls in depth. Have you guys always done well when it came to this subject, or did you have some sort of dating epiphany and wanted to share it with the world.

It's great to hear you guys talk about something other than kino escalation, pea cocking, and all of that other crap I used to read about. Keep doing your thing guys.

I am having a intimacy relationship but not dating....

kkw16 — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 18:12:33 -0400

hey guys I posted here before about me breaking up with my ex for another girl.

So me and my ex broke up like a month ago but she still can't accept the fact that we broke up. I have been trying to talk her out of this and being nice to her. However, seems like this is not going to work out for her anytime soon. anywaysss

This new girl that I am into now. We had sex for once because we were kinda drunk.
Now she is telling me that she is feeling comfortable to be with me but she doesn't like me. We talked about our relationship yesterday, she said she doesn't mind to keep it like this if it is not going to be public.

For myself, this kind of relationship is fine for me but I don't understand what she is thinking. Like how can she feel comfortable around me but not like me. I just don't get it.

I am just kinda confused and not so happy about what is going on with my life now.

Can anyone tell me what she is thinking?

P.S. she said we can do anything but no more sex.....

Small Campus

Jason — Fri, 02 Sep 2011 19:09:20 -0400

Hi! I'm starting my junior in college and thanks in part to your show I've started to conquer my fear of approaching woman in a "sexy" sense and gotten much better at flirting over the summer (no dates yet). Though I'm not terribly shy, I've suffered from nice guy syndrome for the last two years of school and I'm afraid this has quickly put me in the friend zone with all of the girls I've met. This year I feel considerably more confident and ready to bashfully ask out the ladies. However, my problem is that my campus is only about 2000 students strong and located in a small town. How can I continue to learn to better approach attractive woman and start asking girls out when it seems like everybody knows everybody and any mistakes (call it learning) will make me foolish in the eyes of future chicks. Traveling to larger towns is not really an option.
Thanks!
P.S. I don't drink

So, I am a fat fuck, what do i do now?

bcg737 — Sun, 04 Sep 2011 15:22:20 -0400

Hello hello, I am Brandon.

So about two years ago i was in a catastrophic car crash, and I damaged my knees, hips etc. I was essentially bed ridden while waiting for surgery for a year, and ive been in recovery and physical therapy ever since. I am now getting back to my old self, but with an extra 100 lbs on me.

Now, I have been hitting the gym for the past couple months, and have lost 15 lbs, I want to loose it slow to prevent extra skin/ and to just loose it in a manageable and healthy way.

I am well on my way to loosing the weight, but it will take 1 to 1.5 years to loose the weight in a healthy way, so i will still be a fat fuck for a considerable amount of time. The women i am attracted to and interested in are presently out of my league because of my weight, the question is, do I keep on going after them (and possibly get the rep of being "the creepy fat dude/ embarrass myself) or do I wait until I loose the weight?

P.S. I dont want to settle, not an option

Is it too late to ask for the number?

peteytakinitezy — Sat, 10 Sep 2011 00:26:56 -0400

I like to play games with myself to see if I still have confidence.

So I'm at this new campus because I just recently moved in with a roommate. This campus had a lot more attractive and lively people than my other campus. This, I am grateful for. ^_^ Anyways, I went to the computer lab because I had some spare time before my next class.

I thought to myself... I haven't talked to a random chick in a while. Only times when I do talk to random girls though, is when I'm all swagged out and self-esteem was at a high. Like the feeling of going on the biggest roller coaster at a theme park, getting off, and saying "I CAN GO ON ANY RIDE!"

From a scale of 1-10, my self esteem on this day was a 5 or 6. But I was on my "A" game with my fashion that day. So I decided to take baby steps, and simply just sit next to the hottEST girl in the computer lab.

A half an hour passed by, with her doing her studying while I was doing mines. I needed a restroom break so I turned to her and asked...

Me: Do you know where the restroom is on THIS floor?

Her: Yeah, it's *blah, *blah (around the corner), *blah.

Me: Okay, thanks.

I came back, sat down. Ten minutes later she asked me a question about her textbook. Basically, she needed help finding a code for her textbook to input into the computer. Unfortunately, we couldn't find it. So I offered a solution, to go talk to her professor. Our conversation lasted about five minutes and I listened to her with strong eye contact. Meanwhile, giving her a smile somewhere in between.

She left to go see the professor. In my head... "I'm all like sweeeet, I just had small talk with this girl I couldn't imagine myself ever talking to!"

*Two days later... [ dressed up even more sexier at school ;) ]

She sat at the same spot, and I came over (playing it cool) saying...

Me: Hey, what up. (paying no attention to her whatsoever and going straight to the seat next to her)

Her: Heyy... (with the tone of trying to remember who I was)

Me: (slowly glancing her way) So did your professor help you out with your textbook?

Her: Yeah. Hey, are you a freshman or a sophomore?

Me: Sophomore, how about you?

Her: Freshman... Do you know any good places to eat around here because I'm getting a little hungry.

At this point, I'm thinking to myself... I was just about to ask her to go grab lunch and she is basically doing the work for me. :D

Me: (looking away/playing it cool) Yeah, I know this really good place that my friend took me. If you want, after this we can go.

Her: (went back to her studies in content)

Me: I'll be right back.

I wasn't sure where the place was due to my lack of memory. So I asked the librarian just to make sure.

Me: When is your next class?

Her: 3:30pm

Me: Okay, me too. I'm Peter by the way...

Her: (giggle) :D I'm Jasmine. Nice to meet you.

Me: Jasmine, nice to meet you. :D

She finished up her studies and we left the computer lab at 3pm. It was a 15 minute walk to the cafe, so we had more small talk...

Her: So are you good at math?

Me: Ughh, to be honest it's not my favorite. Despite what you hear about Asians we aren't all the same.

Her: *giggles* Well, I suck at math.

Then we talked more... about her sister, her major, my major, her plans after 2 years.
(I kept notes about her in my phone to remember her name, career plans, etc.)

We arrived at the cafe.

Her: What's good to eat?

Me: The bagel and cheese is good since were short on time.

Her: Yeah, I'll get that.

Me: Well, I gotta get ready for weight training so I have to go.

Her: Yeah, I don't want you to be late.

Me: Okay, well... I'll see you later.

I realized after that, I could of asked for her number. Is it too late?

I need Help from a Good Conversationalist!

mike_hawk — Mon, 11 Apr 2011 23:18:29 -0400

Okay So I need some tips on how to keep a conversation going with all types of girls(smart, dumb, etc.) I'm good with the confidence, openers, but after that I find it hard to evolve from there I try to bring up regular conversation topics(how was your day, anything new?, etc.) but sometimes I get stuck and they don't say anything i could expand into a deeper conversation. So any tips? Any full-proof topics that always work? All Help is Appreciated Thanks. And Can Someone else and not just Sarah2013 try and Answer I love her Help, I really do. But I'd Love More than one persons Input. Thanks :)

girls pubs: trim, shaved, bushy how do you guys like it?

Natalia — Sat, 25 Jun 2011 00:20:38 -0400

Hey, I just want ask the guys how do you like girls pubs, short, long... tell me about it please.

How would a girl react to this?

GreenerPastures — Sun, 14 Aug 2011 23:42:38 -0400

So I've been seeing/dating (not quite dating because we're not officially dating) this girl since early March of this year. Every time we go out we have lots of fun, we laugh a lot, we make bad decisions that feel good, and everything else that goes along with the excitement of a new relationship.

However, twice now I've brought up the topic of dating which ended with disastrous results. Both times, as soon as I brought that up she shut down and turned cold on me, and it took days to begin feeling normal in conversation with her again. She told me about how her last dating relationship ended badly (which I didn't think was too seriously bad after she told me the "break up" event story, but anyway) and that she wasn't looking to date anyone right now, and that she wasn't at that place in her life (she's 28 and out of school for 5 years), and some other crap. So at this point in my mind I'm thinking "Well then what the hell have we been doing since March!"

Fast forward to three weeks or so after the second (and maybe last) dating discussion that I brought up, everything had been going fine since then, we ironed out the tension between us from that dicussion, and a fact came up in one of our conversations that frustrated the heck out of me. I was not going to get to see her for the whole month of August. Why? Because she had made plans with family and friends every single weekend and was not able to make plans with me for any of them. We live 90 minutes away, so weekends are really our only option for seeing each other. So I got frustrated with her, and the conversation ended badly.

The next day, I felt bad about being demanding of her because, after all we're not dating, so I shouldn't have any expectations of her right? Wrong. All of our hanging out earlier this year set my expectations too high, and to go a whole month or longer without getting together just sucks now. So the next day I feld bad and apologized to her over text about getting frustrated with her, and she texted back "I'm not mad at you at ALL but we do have stuff we need to figure out. We'll chat about it sometime." That was roughly two weeks ago.

You're hearing all the bad stuff here, but there is a lot of good between us and in the end I would marry this girl, but if talking about dating freaks her out, I sure as hell can't drop anything near the M bomb on her right now. Based on recent conversations with her, I think we will soon be having this chat about "things we need to figure out" and here's my question. Would it freak a girl out if I told her, in this stage of the game I've described, that if we decided to start officially dating, and that went well, I would have no problem switching jobs, selling my house, and moving to her town 90 minutes away so we could be together? Would describing that possible scenario generally win a girls heart, or would it freak her out? I know all girls are different and it depends on the situation and all, but I'm just asking in general given what I've described.

That's what I really believe about this girl, so maybe I should find a palatable way to express that to her, and that's what I'm planning to do at this point but please give your opinions. Follow up questions are welcomed.

Sarah2013 I'm looking forward to you chiming in on this one!

What can I say?

oregoniangal — Mon, 15 Aug 2011 01:43:45 -0400

Hi everyone! I'm a high school student and I've had a crush on this one guy for about a year. In time I became his friend, but I've always wanted to be more. Sometimes it seems like he likes me, and sometimes he doesn't. He's never been in a relationship and is pretty shy when it comes to girls. I'm going to be seeing him soon and I want to know if it's too late to tell him how I feel and how to tell him without scaring him away or if its too late. Thanks!

Where is the show!?

Sarah2013 — Sun, 06 Feb 2011 14:49:04 -0500

Where is the show from this week?! It isn't in iTunes yet!

Was there even a show this week ha?

Am i in Friend Zone?

kkw16 — Thu, 02 Jun 2011 21:16:20 -0400

okay so I know this girl two months ago. We have been texting to each other everyday until we sleep. However, she never text me first and It seems like it is always me who is talking.

I feel like we are in the friend-zone but whenever I see her in collage there are lots of touching going on between me and her. She doesn't mind if I pat her head or using stupid excuses to touch her hand. There are some flirt punching going on between me and her.

So yesterday, we went to a super market together to get grocery because her parents are out of town. And then I went to her house took a 30 min nap and stayed for like 4 hours. There were only us 2 in the house, we didn't really do anything mainly playing with her dog.

She is those boyish girl. I am not sure if she is that touchy to everyone or just me.

PS. I know this makes me sound like an ass but I have a girlfriend and she knows I have a girlfriend. I have been planning to break out with my girlfriend. I have no intention to cheat on my girlfriend at all. I am going to break up with my girlfriend no matter what happens.

So am I in the friend-zone with this girl?

Why is it always me who is texting and she never really asks me any questions? But there are so many touching going on around me and her.

she is 24 and i am 22.

Bails on plans because she's anxious?

Cody — Fri, 15 Jul 2011 03:13:18 -0400

This girl I've talked to on and off for a few months (never to serious) started talking for a few months via text/fb/etc. and when I went home we hung out once finally and made out... well a couple weeks later I'm back and we were going to go to a movie at 7... she bailed at 6 and asked if I wanted to go to the matinee the next day, I asked if the late show was ok because I didn't want to wait until the next day to see her again and she said yeah... then about an hour before she bailed on that too... she told me it was because she was anxious that it would be awkward... she even asked me to ask some friends to go with and I did and they were going to go.

there's more afterwards but it doesn't even matter now. I'm just wondering if it's normal for people/girls to bail on plans because they're anxious?

Dance Class Openers?

peteytakinitezy — Thu, 07 Jul 2011 23:02:21 -0400

So I've been taking hip-hop class for three reasons: the exercise, the hobby itself, and the exposure of chicks! ;) It's amazing, what the guy to girl ratio is (1:10). It would ALSO be safe to say that I'M ALWAYS THE ONLY GUY in the class besides the teacher. My mindset going to these classes is to stay in the moment and learn the choreography and let my dancing display the attraction. I know the teacher and some of the girls in the class, and I often small talk with them each week I go. However, time to time there would be an attractive girl who would attend the class. My question is... what is the best way to start a conversation with that attractive girl who shares the same hobby as I do?

Flowers for a new girlfriend

seanwithans — Tue, 26 Jul 2011 08:58:07 -0400

Dear DTACers,

I've been dating this girl for about a month and besides some odd circumstances (not important) it's been going very well. despite my best efforts, I haven't been able to find out what her favorite flower is. So, when you don't know what her favorite flower is, what is a good kind to give a new girlfriend? I was thinking red roses, but I hear they can come off as too intense. I prematurely thank you all for any responses.

-Sean (with an S)

P.S. Flowers delivered in a box: tacky or not (from 1800flowers or a similar company)

Approaching Customers

BadNews01 — Sat, 18 Jun 2011 01:44:39 -0400

So i work a lot and have been working the past retail job for more than a year. occasionally a customer will come in that i find attractive. how do i approach a customer without worrying about getting in trouble.

by approach i actually mean ask out or at least get a chicks number.

Help for a friend of mine

maustyk527 — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 20:29:41 -0400

A friend of mine (whom i very much like) told me shes getting married, BUT shes a high school senior, and so is her fiance. Recently she told me they are having problems and so i offered to help (im too nice i know) but even though i like her, i want her to be happy with this guy anyway. any advice i could give her to help her smooth things out? We live in pretty much the boonies (lol) but she says her parents are strict (she has a stepdad and her real one passed away) and this guy didnt ask her stepdad to marry her (apparently her parents are tradiditonal (not amish traditional though) ) ANY advice is appreciated guys, thanks.

Do you ever take back an ex?

Cody — Fri, 15 Jul 2011 03:40:41 -0400

In my instance, we dated for two years, she had to go back home to europe, broke up with me proceeded to tell me she didn't have any feelings for me etc. a few months later wanted to fix things, then a week or two after went back to saying she had no feelings for me.

Now over a year since I've seen her and nearly a year since she broke up with me she is telling me she dreams of me, feels like she is cheating on me if she does anything with guys, misses being able to tell me anything/have me as her best friend and that she thinks that we're not done.
This is basically what I wanted for the longest time and I tried to tell her (yeah i kinda came off as a know-it-all) that this wasn't what she wanted... and now she's basically confirming what I said and telling me she ran away from her feelings and just thought everything would be easier if we didn't talk. And she says she thought the feeling of "cheating" would eventually go away but it hasn't.

So right now she says she doesn't know how it'll work (europe vs america both in school) and she is scared... she knows it won't happen tomorrow but that she wants to fix things between us and get things back to how they were....

I tell her idk because I really don't know what to say. I finally started to move on and although I still missed her I was living with it much better.

I've heard people simply say you NEVER take an ex back... but do you guys agree? I know a distance relationship is hard (we were apart a lot during those 2 years) but I know we could make it work if we wanted to... the question is do/should I want to?

Who has it easier in dating. Men or Women.

XxpsasxX — Sun, 26 Jun 2011 00:41:44 -0400

i've been talking to many guys and girls about who has it easier in the dating community.
If a Man finds a women attractive he is expected to approach a girl, ask her on a date, pay for dates, come up with date ideas, etc...
If a women finds a man attractive she can't just approach the man because she might come off too strong, too dominant for some men, etc.
Some say it's easier for women because all they have to do is send signals and flirt with men. Also they just have to say yes to a date.

Discuss.

I love them both.....but

aznguy — Tue, 12 Jul 2011 19:54:52 -0400

hey aznguy's back and i have a new problem. I eventually decided to let the trio go and keep them as friends. and this time its pretty much the same. there are two girls that i've been hanging out with for about 3 years and they actually are sisters! (im good arent i? haha) we're pretty good friends and nothing is serious at the moment. but i was just thinking that if i wanted to go out with either sister, is there a way to go about that without it feeling like i stabbed the other in the back? thanks to anyone that can help

A situation... advice much appreciated!

pink — Sat, 02 Jul 2011 00:27:48 -0400

Kind of a long story. Bare with me.
I recently went to the beach with a bunch of friends and people i didnt know too well. I'd recently met this guy named Dylan, and we had been flirting a little before this trip. The trip was five days and we progressively got closer and flirtier. (i.e. playing chicken in the pool, hugging, joking around) but nothing too serious. Then on the 12 hour bus ride home, he came over away from his group of guys to sit next to me. He was all over me, and all of my friends agreed. He said stuff like how I was beautiful, how i was the coolest girl he knew, and then as it got kind of later and i said i was tired he told me to sleep on his shoulder, and he put his head on mine when he thought i was asleep, rubbed my head, and put his arm around me. Then when we were just talking he casually mentioned that he had gone to his GIRLFRIENDS party that friday. I was extremely shocked that he had a girlfriend based on his behavior. Then he gave me his number and told me to call him the next day since he really wanted to hang out with me. This was two days ago and i havent called him yet since I'm not sure how to act. I really like this guy, and i'm pretty positive hes into me, but i dont want him to cheat on his girlfriend. To be honest, yes, I want them to break up, but i dont condone cheating at all. what should i do if i want him for myself without overstepping?
thanks
pink <3

Should I go for it?

Jon — Mon, 06 Jun 2011 19:19:33 -0400

Hey guys looking for some advice so best place to come was here. I've been working with a girl for the past few months and I've really started to like her. The problem is it's the end of our H.S. years and I'm a junior turning senior and she's a senior turning college. She's here for the summer in Rhode Island and then leaving to college in the fall to Washington DC. We've been flirting a lot lately and the other employees think it's pretty obvious. My question is basically is it worth pursuing given the short time we have? Thanks for all criticism!

whatss the deal with sexting?

pink — Mon, 02 May 2011 21:53:52 -0400

about 75 percent of the times i start talking to a new guy within the first four texts they ask for a sexy pic and then for a hot text.
1. why?
2. when sexting.. what is it that a guy wants to hear?
3. how can i partake in this and still maintain my dignity?
I'm no slut. but when im not in a relationship and not looking for one i dont mind random hookups here and there. Sexting is not my strong suit as i cant think like a guy. advice and insight?