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Do you ever take back an ex?
  • CodyCody July 2011

    In my instance, we dated for two years, she had to go back home to europe, broke up with me proceeded to tell me she didn't have any feelings for me etc. a few months later wanted to fix things, then a week or two after went back to saying she had no feelings for me.

    Now over a year since I've seen her and nearly a year since she broke up with me she is telling me she dreams of me, feels like she is cheating on me if she does anything with guys, misses being able to tell me anything/have me as her best friend and that she thinks that we're not done.
    This is basically what I wanted for the longest time and I tried to tell her (yeah i kinda came off as a know-it-all) that this wasn't what she wanted... and now she's basically confirming what I said and telling me she ran away from her feelings and just thought everything would be easier if we didn't talk. And she says she thought the feeling of "cheating" would eventually go away but it hasn't.

    So right now she says she doesn't know how it'll work (europe vs america both in school) and she is scared... she knows it won't happen tomorrow but that she wants to fix things between us and get things back to how they were....

    I tell her idk because I really don't know what to say. I finally started to move on and although I still missed her I was living with it much better.

    I've heard people simply say you NEVER take an ex back... but do you guys agree? I know a distance relationship is hard (we were apart a lot during those 2 years) but I know we could make it work if we wanted to... the question is do/should I want to?

  • JonJon July 2011

    We can't tell you whether getting over it is better than taking the risk of going through it again. I don't think there's too many people that would lie about that just to mess with you, because what's the point of that? So you guys both probably want to make it work. Whether or not it will is up to you two. I say give it one more chance. If you've gotten over it once, you can do it again. But don't make the same mistake more than twice.

    Jon G, who gets with all his cousin's hot friends :P -Rhode Island
  • CodyCody July 2011

    You're right. My problem is last time I didn't even get to settle with the idea. I was still unsure about it all because of all the things she said to me... and before I was 100% fine with it she went back to it.

    And now since she's told me this our conversations seem to be a lot weaker. I don't know if it's because it's confused me/made me hesitant or what exactly. But our conversations going down the drain makes me think she'll revert again. Because of how our conversations.

    I think i'm hopeful for a bit more than she is.. but idk right now.

    As it stands I think I might tell her I'm going to take a break of talking to her until she can figure out exactly what she has in mind, so that way I can decide if I'm alright with it or not.. but when she's not exactly sure... I don't know where to begin thinking. I think certain things but idk if it's too far in comparison to what she is thinking (if that makes sense at all)

    Good idea? bad idea? (the break from talking)

    thanks for your input already though, it's a good help

  • JonJon July 2011

    The weakness of conversation just stems from the awkwardness of your position. I'm sure it will pick up again if you choose to try and make it work again. I don't think it's really what she needs to figure out right now, so if you want to take a break from talking to her to think over your plan then do so. I think you should tell her what YOU have in mind.

    Jon G, who gets with all his cousin's hot friends :P -Rhode Island
  • CodyCody July 2011

    Right now she is vacationing in spain so I don't think we'll have much if any contact.

    I talked to her a little before she left but not a lot..... after she had left I decided to send her an email basically just explaining my thoughts and everything.

    negative part is it ended up being pretty long. I told her she didn't have to reply to it and I didn't want it to intrude on her vacation but i just wanted to say it so she could think about it some while we weren't talking. I joked that she should print it off and read it as a book while laying on the beach aha.

    Anyways it'll be a couple of weeks before she's back. we'll see how it goes.

    Thanks jon for the help

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