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To friend zone or not to friend zone
  • EcohCharlie1 March 2011

    Hey everyone I would really like everyones feedback on this one. - backstory - back in December I met this really adorable girl that wanted me to interview for a job that she was trying to fill. I went in for the interview, more interested in finding out more about her than the actual job, and turned down the position as I realized that she was going to my very attractive boss. I had the feeling she was interested in me as she laughed at my jokes, smiled everytime I looked into her eyes, and touched my hand and leg when she talked about her long days atwork. I knew if I worked with her I would want to date her so as to affect my work and relationship so I thanked her for the opportunity instead and just kept in contact.
    Recently I had started txting her to see how she was doing and to ask her out for a cup of coffee (DTAC idea :) She said yes and we were set to meet a couple of days later. Finally the day came and I showed up about a half hour early to try and get a table for us. I finally grab a table and wait for her to show up. Half hour passes so I think I'll just give her a hard time when she shows up. Well an hour passes by and I end up txting her "I've never been stood up b4. I guess there is a first time for everything LOL." she calls me and tells me she is sorry and she will make it up to me as soon as she can.
    1) Should I have reminded her of our date a day b4 or the day of or was this a good thing to do, finding out how interested she really is?
    2) she told me she was really busy at work and had completely forgot. So does this mean I shouldnt hope for anything more than just being friends with her for now?

    Thanks EcohChalie out

  • Ahrel March 2011

    Without knowing how much of a workaholic she might be, or what exactly was going on at work, this is a tough question to answer. I don't believe she stood you up on purpose, and I wouldn't give up that easily. Next time let her pick the time if she didn't this time, also call her instead of text. Sounds like you should have enough report with her by now for that not to be awkward.

    Reminding her may not be a bad idea, but IMO that makes you look a bit needy. If you want to remind her, do it with a joke about last time....on the phone. Sarcasm and text do not go far.

    Give her another shot, if something similar happens again, then I guess you can put her in the friend-zone. If there is such a thing for guys....

  • claude82claude82 March 2011

    You should always call a girl to confirm a date that it's easier for her to remember. Also when you ask her out again ask her what her schedule is like that way it's easier for her to make a firm time and date

  • Sarah2013Sarah2013 March 2011

    I've done this to a guy before... I made plans with him then didn't show up cause I had to go to an extra volleyball practice. So, I didn't call him and he was super upset with me and I tried to apologize, but I don't think he bought it.

    Maybe she was really busy or just spaced from what she told you about how much she works at the interview it is quite possible that she was working!

    Definitely give her another chance! Don't expect too much out of it though so if she doesn't show up for some reason you're not too upset about it.

    If a guy texted me before a date just something like "I can't wait for our date tomorrow" or something I wouldn't think it was needy or anything. I would think that this guy is genuinely interested in me and wants to see me. Also, it would remind me to show up (:

    Good luck!
    ~Sarah

  • hamstockhamstock May 2011

    Yeah I think honestly she probably did just forget. Which kinda sucs but isn't that bad. If you make your plans for a few days out its probably a good idea to confirm the day or evening before. a simple "Hey we still on for tomorrow" isn't desperate or needy in my opinion.

  • EcohCharlie1 July 2011

    Thanks to everybody for the advice. I gave this girl another chance after a couple of weeks and its been going great. We have been texting a lot since i know she is busy most of the time. I'm trying to keep her interested but sometimes run out of topics to as her. Are there things i can ask without going overboard with questions?

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